So the one thing nobody tells you about after diagnosis is the judgement. TV commercials encouraging diet and exercise. That’s all it takes, right? I first realized that people were judging my daughter pretty harshly when my best friend called one day to apologize for it. She’s an RN, educated about health, and even she didn’t realize that a Type 1 diabetic didn’t CAUSE their diabetes. She didn’t realize that diet isn’t a reason for Type 1. She didn’t realize that my child can eat – in fact must eat – carbs to have energy, and must take insulin to get that energy. Out of concern for my daughter, my friend educated herself, and now felt guilty for the silent judgement she had for us over the years. This was eye opening for me. This person loves my daughter as her own, and if she felt that way, how do other people look at us? I mean, sure I get judging me for forgetting snacks, doing a bad calculation for dosage, having a bitchy disrespectful kid, wearing heels with shorts. I provide an abundance of bad life choices to be judged about. My child being diabetic isn’t a result of life choices, and its certainly no reason to be judged by anyone.
While close family has been through education with us, extended family and friends are still very uneducated. In that group of people we have Type 2 diabetics and a parent that says their child is diabetic for over 10 years, but no diagnosis and just controlled with diet. Could you imagine? Only controlling diabetes with diet! Ah the luxury of it. They all tell stories during the holidays about how they cope, and have such great advice. Lord I love the advice. It is such a great way to test my patience with people. I tried at one point to explain to the self-diagnosed diabetic’s parent that when your child is truly diabetic, whether you have insurance or not is irrelevant on getting a diagnosis – we don’t have a choice but to get the diagnosis. It fell on deaf ears. The fact remains that people just don’t understand how hard it truly is because they aren’t living it. They may have their own struggles to deal with, of course, but its just not the same as the daily grind of Type One.
Attitudes toward me are one thing, but what about these foolish adults, who actually dislike my child because her diabetes “always seems to be an issue, distraction, or inconvenience”? Really? You watching her give a shot or eat snacks or check blood sugar one time in your presence is bothersome? Try living in her shoes. Through the years I could not believe the amount of people who are disgusted by her and blame her for even having this disease. “Why doesn’t she just take care of it and do what she needs to do before coming to (practice/game/concert/event) ?” I can recall when a teacher friend was talking to other classroom kids about her and said they thought she was too dramatic about her diabetes, its not that big a deal. Now, don’t get me wrong, my child could win an Oscar some days when she’s trying to get out of trouble for something. But dramatic about diabetes? No, folks, that shit is real.